That time laying on a table half naked surrounded by three strange men was NOT sexy!

The Man-of-My-Dreams is working out of the country.
He is gone in Kazakhstan for 28 days, then he comes home for 28 days.

It is working out quite well, actually. Just about the time he's sick and tired of being gone, it's time to come home.
Then, when he starts to get on my last nerve, it's time for him to go back to work.

It's also great because we get to have a honeymoon every time he returns.
By the time his time away is over, we are very VERY ready for some quality "alone" time. *wink* *wink*

I've decided to have a surprise waiting for him each time he returns home, a little something special just for him.

This trip home was no different, I remembered one time long ago when he mentioned that he thought nipple piercings were sexy.
You know, that whole... lady outside and a wild woman/slut in the bedroom thing?
Shiny, naughty, nipple rings would certainly work for that!

After much thought, I decided that would be my surprise.

I'll admit that the thought of intentionally sticking a very sharp object through those very sensitive bits of my body, never really has crossed my mind.

But, the way I see it, If it's something that my man will enjoy, find sexy, and I'm not strongly opposed to it... Why not?

I Googled nipple piercing.
I Googled Pain with nipple piercings.
I Googled nipple piercing aftercare.
I Googled licensed piercers.
I Googled Nipple Piercing pain.... again.
I Googled Nipple numbing techniques. (none by the way!)

Then I made my appointment.
I wanted to get em done a few weeks before my man came home, so they would have some time to heal a bit before he got home and wanted to "play".

I went by myself to the piercing studio.
There were two younger guys there.
I walked in and they immediately knew who I was...
Your that Wife Swap lady!!!
My mom loves your episode! He got on the phone with his mother.
"Oh Great" I thought....
"Now everyone in my tiny town will know that this 38yr old mother of 5 is getting her nipples pierced!"

The head piercer walked in right after me.
He was tattooed from head to toe.
But he had a calming and very professional air about him.

He looked at my nipples and explained what size and gauge needle I should have for the best results (14 gauge).
Then he asked if the two younger guys could watch because they were learning.
Heck! I've nursed 4 kids!
More people have seen my nipples than have seen the Dodgers play baseball!
So, I told him it was fine.

I asked him if I needed to get my girls "happy" before the piercing...
I mean... wouldn't it be easier to stab a sharp needle through something erect than something soft and flat?
He explained that the alcohol he was gonna wipe them with would take care of that... And it did.

He wiped them clean and made little marks with his marker while I was standing up, then he had me lay on the table.
This is when my nerves really started to kick in!

Here I was.... Laying naked from the waist up, on a table, surrounded by three strange men.
The piercer was explaining his every move to his trainees and I was trying to resist the urge to get up and run out of the door.

1.... he said.
2...
3... STAB!

WOW!! it hurt.
It hurt BAD!
But it was over quickly.
Then he stabbed the ring through the fresh hole.
That hurt too!
But I lived.

"That wasn't so bad" I told him.
"Oh, the next one will hurt more" he explained....
apparently, my endorphins surged with the first piercing, and helped dull the pain.
I wouldn't have those with the second one.

1....
2....
3....
It Took My Breath Away!!
I Saw JESUS!!!
I kicked my legs.
I thought I was gonna scream!
But I didn't.

Thank God I don't have three nipples, cause that last sucker would be hole-less!

My new holes are about a month old now...
The healing process has been easier than I thought it would be.
Wearing a bra 24/7 that first week was a God-Send!

Now I have shiny little rings through my nipples.
I am thrilled with them.
So Is the Man-of-My-Dreams!

It has defiantly brought some excitement to our sex-life.
It's like we have our own naughty little secret.
well..... we DID have a naughty little secret until this post...

:)

White Socks, (Rant of the Day... again!)

This post will run tomorrow on The Homesteading Housewife...
But I'm thinkin I should have posted it here instead....
So we'll just post it in BOTH blogs!


OK.... is it only me?
Please tell me it is NOT only me!

I have 5 men/boys living in this house.
Each of those men/boys has two feet.
Each of those feet wear some sort of white sock. (well, they start out white, but that's a whole another rant for another day)
Each man/boy gets 12 pairs of white socks 2 times a year = 240 white socks a year.
There are always some left over from the year before that are still good = 300 white socks.

I always try to buy the same brand of socks so they are easier to match.

Man-of-My-Dreams = Long socks
Worker #1 = kinda short socks, just over the ankle.
Worker #2 = VERY short-so-you-can't-see-em-above-his-shoes socks.
Worker #3 = mid way between the ankle & knee shocks.
Worker #4= doesn't care either way, but most are kinda short.

So, we have approximately 300 white socks for the men-folk of the house.
WHY is it, that I am sitting here after finishing folding and matching socks and I have 23 mismatched white socks?!?!?!?

Seriously... 23!!!
Not one of them is like another one anywhere in the whole stinking pile!!
How many ways are there to make white socks for men/boys?!?!?
They are white socks for cryin out loud!!!
SOCKS!!!!

There should be some council somewhere that regulates the making of white socks.
There should be a few different lengths/styles that come in various sizes.

But 23 totally different white socks???
How is this possible???

Can someone please explain to me why on earth there are so many types of white socks??
Is this a serious need?

Is there some high priced white sock engineer sitting in an office somewhere in front of his drawing board who seriously thinks.. "Hey! The buying public just doesn't have enough styles of white socks to choose from to cover their poor feet. I think I'll design a brand new type of white sock!"???

If there IS indeed a White Sock Council what is their address???
I would LOVE to write them a letter!


ok... I feel better now, Thank you for listening.