September 29, 2008

Oh THIS is wonderful!

I am the mother of several children, most of whom are of the male persuasion.
My eldest testosterone laden young man is 16 years old and has his first serious,

Lets suck face & I wanna stick my tongue down your throat till I can taste your toe-jam girlfriend.

I knew this phase was unavoidable.
I have been preparing myself for it to start.
I thought I was dealing with it all fairly well.
I laid down the rules.
I watch them closely, but from a distance too, if that makes any sense.
He says he won't have sex for years because he is not ready, and she feels the same
(for this minute at least) **rolling eyes**

She is a good girl.
He is a good boy.
But, I don't like it.

I have come to the conclusion that all 15-17 year old girls are slut-whores.
Yep, I said it... they are slut-whores who are after MY boys!
They call my house at 11pm.
They send notes to them pledging their undying love.
They wears their pants too tight.
They wear their shorts too short.
They wear too much make-up.
And they are WAY more developed than girls that age were when I was a young teen!!
(except for me.... the Boob fairy came to me when I was 12.. I was a 12 yr old full D-cup!! I was NOT amused!)

My boys girlfriend lived about 30miles away from our house, a fact that I loved!
Until today!
Her family moved into a house 4 doors down from ours today!!
I am NOT impressed!
Of course the love-birds are thrilled!
They are planning their afternoons together.
They are making plans for every week-end for the rest of their lives spent together.

I however, see many attitude-filled loud "discussions" with a certain 16 year old boy in my future.
I foresee door frames knocked loose by slamming of the doors by this soon to be angry young-man when his evil bitchy mother does not allow him to spend every waking moment with his true love.

I believe my hard-earned title of greatest mom on the planet will quickly be replaced with the Hag who is trying to ruin his life!

Oh yeah....
Happy Monday!!!

1 comment:

Kat Olivares said...

Sigh. Mommyhood Phase 2 is THE ultimate exhibition round.

Good luck for your sanity and low-toxicity for the next how many yrs...